The singing was really the selling point. She had a sensor on her hand, and when you touch it she belts out one of several songs. AWESOME!! I thought. ANOTHER LOUD ANNOYING TOY TO ADD TO OUR COLLECTION! Keep in mind this was the same Christmas I gifted my children with a toy drum set, including maracas, jingle bells, and a tambourine.
Sometimes I have no parenting common sense.
On Christmas Eve Preschooler and I were both on pins and needles. Having throughly examined the Santa theory, Preschooler determined the best way to examine this hypothesis was to actually GO TO SLEEP. I was anticipating the morning, when she would open up this toy and forever remember this Christmas as the best Christmas ever, thus garnering me with another feather in my best mother ever hat.
MOM OF THE YEAR.
Christmas morning dawned and Preschooler opened her presents, including Giant Belle. We take her out of the box, and I touched the sensor on Belle’s hand, expecting nothing short of an operatic miracle.
Preschooler didn’t really care. By some stroke of accidental genius, I never told her the doll was supposed to sing. Over the next six months Belle did the usual tour-of-duty in Preschooler’s playtime routine. But after a while, we noticed something odd.
Belle’s head started to default to “backwards.” Even if you put the head face forward at the beginning of the day, within several hours the head will slowly rotate backwards, remaining in that position forevermore. It’s like the doll is possessed by some sort of half-assed demon.
So one afternoon, Preschooler was in the living room playing with her demonic Belle doll, whose head had already twisted backwards. Out of nowhere, Belle engages in an unprecedented act and starts singing.
Preschooler was utterly agog. For her it was as if an angel came down from the heavens and anointed her doll with the gift of voice.
To me it was as if this doll’s demonic possession was complete.
“Honey, look!” I say. “She sings when you press her hand!”
Preschooler was ecstatic. She pressed Belle’s hand a couple more times just to witness the miracle once more.
Then she tossed Belle aside, moving on to a different toy. Nary a sound issued from her creepy head since.
So, next Christmas I’m making a concerted effort to buy toys that make no noise whatsoever.
I guess I’m a slow learner.