Saturday, March 10, 2012

There's No Holding Hands In Zumba!

I don't like strangers touching me.  Therefore, I'm the only person in the world who doesn't like professional massages. And hands-on prayer weirds me out.  And don't even get me started on so-called "trust falls."


I've also started taking Zumba classes twice a week.  It harkens back to my days as a dancer, although with much more jiggling.

My normal Zumba instructor is a dude who kicks my butt with some fun routines for an hour.  But last Tuesday?  HE. WASN'T. THERE.

There was a substitute Zumba instructor.  And she had her heart set on bonding with me.

Every few minutes she would make eye-contact with a class member, head their way and give them a high-five or a pat on the back or simply jammed with them.  Ok.  She's friendly.  I'm sure that comes in handy sometimes.

I was one of the first people she singled out.  About 15 minutes into the class she headed my way and jammed with me.  Okaaaaaaaay.

But apparently our jam-session was so mind-blowing that about half an hour later she approached me once more and held my hand while we zumba-ed together. DOESN'T SHE KNOW I HAVE THE WORLD'S LARGEST PERSONAL BUBBLE?????

I was so weirded out that I immediately excused myself for a drink from the bubbler and then slunk to the very back of the room where she would hopefully leave me alone for the rest of the class.

It's called a bubbler.  Not a drinking fountain.  Not a water fountain.  Bubbler.

Fortunately I was able to get through the rest of the class without any touching or eye-contact or any other weirdness.

But dear-almighty-god-in-heaven let my normal Zumba instructor be there next Tuesday.


Lizbeth said...

I so would be calling the gym to see if regular no petting man is teaching class. There is NO WAY I'd be going back if jam-lady were in the house. NO WAY. Nothing against the ladies, mind you, I just don't like people in my space like that. I guess that's why I prefer to run. Alone. With ear-buds in.

Betty Fokker said...

I am touchy-feely and even I would weird out if my zumba instructor held my hand.

Rhiannon said...

I am dying laughing over here... well, because I know you. How can one properly Zumba with hand holding and impromptu jam sessions?? C'mon!

Ixy said...

LOL - really. What kind of bizarre zumba is this? I would be more comfortable with my zumba instructor grinding on me than holding my hand, although not if I'd just met her. Oh personal space. Why is it such a difficult concept?

I would have snuck away too, but I'm also very uncomfortable with touchy-feely behaviour not involving my husband or daughter.

And for zumba, I like to jiggle away unmolested in my own little bubble. I think most people would agree with this one.

Fox in the City said...

It actually goes beyond a large personal space bubble and wiggles its way right into totally unprofessional.

Although it is not all the obvious now, I used to be a fitness instructor and one of the 1st things they pound into your head is Do Not Touch the Participants Without Their Permission. I am going to assume that she didn't ask you before grabbing your hands and shaking it . . .

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Lizbeth - I wish I was good at running!

@Betty - I know! Totally weird.

@Rhiannon - Just let me Zumba in peace, right?!

@Ixy - I don't mind jiggling in front of others. That's why I'm in the class, right?!

@Fox in the City - I should've probably complained to a manager about it, but I'm kind of passive that way.