ALL HAIL THE PORTABLE DVD PLAYER!

Back in July, we went on vacation to the north-woods of Minnesota and Wisconsin. It was quite the road-trip, consisting of a total of 20 hours on the road. We stopped to let Preschooler go potty only 239 times.  I think she’s the only person who can truly appreciate, nay enjoy, a truck stop bathroom.  Even better, there were no real breakdowns thanks to these little gems:

I give up.

Yes, the portable DVD player saved our vacation, or at least allowed us to drive hours at a time in relative peace and quiet.  Well, maybe not quiet, but definitely peace.   I know, REALLY? A TV?   The words “spoiled,” “privileged,” and “lazy” come to mind.

Before Husband and I were parents, we used to vocalize loudly on what consisted of appropriate parenting.  We were parenting snobs; parenting armchair quarterbacks. But after our kids were born, our parenting standards shattered, one by one.


“We’ll NEVER use a portable DVD player in the car.  Our children will entertain themselves, just like we did as children.”

Ahem.  Actually these little beauties will allow you to keep your sanity in between diaper changes, potty stops, mealtimes, snack times, and nap times. When you’re driving for a whole day, your sanity takes precedent over anything else.

“McDonald’s will ONLY be a very special treat, save for the road-trips to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Our kids will NEVER eat processed food.  There’s nothing wrong with fruits and vegetables.  Also, we’ll make all our own baby-food.  And, we’ll never frequent restaurants with children’s menus.  The kids will eat whatever we eat with gusto.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You’re so cute.

You see, there will be times where even the notion of cooking is impossible.  You may be holding a screaming baby for 22 hours in one day.  You may have a Toddler clinging to your pants leg starting at 4:30 or so, and lasting for the next 3 hours.  You may be simply exhausted, having stayed up with an infant all night, or negotiating a peace treaty between your offspring all day. On these days, even if your fast-food suppers occur twice a week or more, they will be a blessing, a blessing from the Lord above. Amen.

“Our kids will only play with wooden toys.  Plastic, noisy toys are the work of Satan himself.”

Ok. Plastic toys ARE forged by the devil’s minions, but seeing as you already caved in with the DVD player and the junk food, you ought not worry about this.

In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

P.S.  Stay tuned for more vacation stories..... probably.

Is There Some Sort Of 12-Step Program For My Blog Addiction?

I don't always have much willpower. Baked goods and potato chips have no chance in my house.

 You're doomed.  DOOMED!!

I joined a gym, and then failed to go exercise. 

Not me.

I claim I'm going to quit caffiene, and end up making a slow ascent to the top of mount coffee.

  Why do you even *twitch* WANT to stop drinking coffee?

Yet somehow I managed to unplug for one whole week.  No blogging.  No twitter.  No Google Reader. 

I did check Facebook once or twice, but only because I've been waiting for news as to whether a very pregnant cousin had her baby.

Oh, and I composed a quick Amazon gift list, seeing as my Toddler's second birthday is rapidly approaching.

Oh, AND I checked the news for a couple days. 

BUT STILL.

So what did I learn from my time away?   That my often timid Preschooler loves to swim.  That Toddler knows words like "boat," "see you," and "HALP ME!!"  That taking an extended leave from work to be with the kids may not disqualify me from every job in the universe.  That Husband wants to exercise with me in hopes that we both lose weight set a good example for our kids on the importance of a healthy lifestyle.  That I don't really care whether minnows nibble my toenails.

See?  Time well spent. But now I'm compelled to be on the internet for the next 930 hours or so.

I think I need some sort of 12-step program.