Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I Can't Talk Now, I'm Awaiting The Four Horsemen And Their Eight Tiny Reindeer. Or Something Like That.

Thus accounts my survival of Snowpocolypse 2011...

Sunday:  What? There’s a major weather system passing through southern Wisconsin this week?  They didn’t say ANYTHING about this on Nick Jr.

More Sunday:  We go grocery shopping after supper.  We usually grocery shop Sunday evenings anyhow, because the store is slow, and there’s less of a chance my children will attach themselves to some one else’s cart and go home to a household where they’re allowed to eat white bread.

I'm dismayed to see 500 people roaming the aisles in search of sustenance.  There is plenty of milk and bread to go around, but the store is strangely devoid of whole chickens.

Monday: A small weather system rolls through.  There’s several inches of snow on the ground. Life goes on as usual, because it's Wisconsin.

Tuesday evening:  I'm shredding cheese for supper.  Preschooler asks for some, so I break a piece off the block of cheese for her.  She exclaims the cheese is big, just like my butt.  You can’t make this shit up.

Later Tuesday evening: The larger weather system rolls through. We now have a foot or two of snow on the ground, with 3-4 foot high drifts.  It is pretty, but not life-threatening.  Biggest casualty: Our outdoor thermometer got knocked down and buried in snow. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday: The bus system is down, so Husband is home from work.  I'm secretly glad, since now I’ll be able to clean the bathrooms.  Hooray?

Even More Wednesday: We're still awaiting the Four Horsemen the media predicted will follow this storm, heralding the end of the world. Unless Death replaced his pale horse with a snow plow, I don’t think they’re coming. I'm strangely disappointed.

In conclusion: I'm always let down by every little snow the media hypes up.  Apparently, I subconsciously believe that the world will end due to a blizzard, sometime during my lifetime.

I'm not sure what this says about my dreams in life.  Probably that they're very cold, and feed to my inner desire to remain a hermit forever.

3 comments:

SarcasmInAction said...

So you're like the opposite of a cheesehead?
:)

Marianna Annadanna said...

Up here in Canada we always laugh at Americans who get all worked up about "lots" of snow and "freezing" cold. For example, Ellen's audience yesterday was positively beside themselves at the thought of 9 degrees.

I'm glad to hear that Wisconsin-ins (?) are as tough as we are.

Brandy Rose said...

I'd like an order of something more entertaining than the usual please and thank you.