Monday, February 21, 2011

I'd Read Her War And Peace, But There Aren't Enough Pictures Of Ambulances

As of late, Preschooler’s bedtime story of choice is Richard Scarry’s Cars and Trucks and Things That Go.

The bad part of this book is that every single picture is labeled, resulting in a book with a word count rivaling War and Peace.

The good part of this book is that I don’t have to actually read any of those words, because all Preschooler wants to do is find Goldbug on each page.  Thus, things move rather quickly until we get to the page with the ambulance.

It's on the same page as the hot dog car.

EVERY SINGLE TIME Preschooler sees that ambulance, she and I get to have the following conversation....

.....Mama, remember when you fell down the escalator at the mall and bumped your head and we had to ride in the ambulance so you could go to the doctor and get all better?

Yes, this is apparently going to be my child’s earliest memory.  That fall occurred nearly six months ago, when Preschooler was still technically Toddler, but she still brings it up. Mind like a steel trap, that girl.

Anyhow, seeing as one of my most embarrassing moments is also one of my daughter’s earliest memories, I’m now subconsciously paranoid that EVERY stupid thing I do (and I seem to be pretty adept at doing stupid things) will be recorded in Preschooler’s impressionable mind. 

So, Preschooler, please don’t think less of Mama just because she pulled a Tupperware full of spaghetti sauce out of the freezer only to have it thaw and turn out to be chili instead.  Also, don’t think less of Mama the second time this happens.  Or the third.


Note to self: Chili is not, and will never be, spaghetti sauce.  
Even when it’s that bizarro Cincinnati chili that sits atop a pile of spaghetti noodles.


Marianna Annadanna said...

I, for one, would REALLY love to have a hot dog car. I hope that book says where I can get one.

I might pass on the chili spaghetti, though.

Onthefarshore said...

Ah, the joys of preschoolers and Richard Scary! We had one of his books with his rendition of popular tales. I read the book to my daughter, then 3, and all was well until I reached the story of the Gingerbread Man. She thoroughly enjoyed that story-as she had the others-until I reached the page about the Little Old Lady having to lie down to rest, after chasing the Gingerbread Man. It was on that very page that things came to a screeching halt! So distraught was she over the illustration of the Little Old Woman "resting" that she refused to let me turn the page.
She just kept pointing at her and looking very distressed. It was then that I realized that in the illustration, the Little Old Woman really did not look like she had just lay down to rest, but was flayed out, looking every bit like she had fallen face first and was indeed in distress.
So concerned was my three year old for the welfare of this poor old woman, that she refused to allow me to turn the page and continue with the story.
At a loss for what to do to comfort her, I finally asked my husband to distract her momentarily in the kitchen with a drink of water, while I took a black ink pen to the Little Old Woman's face, transforming her expression of pain into a happier one-even with a slight smile!
When my daughter returned, she immediately went to that illustration, puzzled over it briefly and then satisfied that the poor old woman was indeed only resting, allowed me to turn the page and continue the story.
Needless to say, I still have that book some 30 years later and we all get a laugh out of what a changed little old woman she is.
Turns out this child is still very sensitive to this day. I should have known that when she burst into tears in the middle of "Are You My Mother?" on the page where the little lost bird thinks the plane above is his mother and calls out to it, "Mother!" (but the plane just moves on) It was more than the poor child could take! Oh, but those were the good ol' days......

Angela said...

Oh, Richard Scarry... who knew how badly you could mess with a child's psyche?

Sassy Sister said...

And let's not forget Richard Scarry's Best Christmas Book Ever! When Mr. Gronkle falls through the ice and the dialog goes like this...
"He'll soon freeze to death in the cold water," says Huckle.
"Don't leave me to die!" shouts Mr. Gronkle when he sees the children running off.

And should you be wondering where the children are running off to, they are going to get a ladder to put on the ice to save Mr. Gronkle. Of course this leaves you to have a lovely conversation with your child as to the dangers of 1)trying to save someone who has fallen through the ice yourself 2)Bringing a ladder out to a patch of cracked ice.

Angela said...

I thought of that! Oh dear. Is it wrong, though, that I kind of want to get Richard Scarry's Best Christmas Book Ever, if only for the laughs?