Tweets From A Bygone Era

I'm not a big player in the Twitterverse. I try not to spend more than 10-15 minutes a day on Twitter.  For me it's just too much of a distraction, cutting into valuable writing time and, more importantly, family time.

Still, I like to think I tweet a few worthwhile things in those sparse 15 minutes. So here is a list of some of my better tweets from the summer months of June-August:

Went out with the girls. Too much wine. Am now watching Clarissa Explains It All and eating Doritos. Aug. 27th.

This tweet was celebrating a really fun, and too infrequent, girl’s night out.  And the Doritos part? It’s like college all over again, but with less watermelon Pucker. Do they even make that anymore?

Apparently my 2-y-o woke up at 5:00 in the morning so she could play with her singing tea set. She may not live to see lunchtime. Aug. 19th.

Toddler lived.  Good thing she’s cute.

I've been too serious on my blog lately. I should post a fart or something, to make up for this. Aug. 3rd.

My blog is mostly humor, but sometimes I lose the funny in my life.  When this happens I either write a serious post, or (more likely) no posts at all. Also, this uber-scientific quiz said I write like James Joyce when I write a humorous post, but I write like Dan Brown when I write a serious post.  Humor is clearly my strong suit.

I woke up at 6:00 am in hopes of having 15-30 minutes of "me time" before the kids got up. They were up at 6:03. DAMMIT!!! Jul. 29th.

I now have to wake up at 5:00 am to get that 15-30 minutes of “me time.”  It’s worth it.

I just made homemade strawberry jam. Or possibly homemade botox. Time will tell. Jul. 9th.

My jam failed, but it made for an awesome blog post, and no one died of botulism.  So the $50 spent on canning equipment, sugar and strawberries was totally worth it.

For the number of times I type "Arrrgghhh" on my blog & twitter, people are going to think I'm some sort of pirate. Jul. 5th.

UPDATE: Am not a pirate. Yet.

My parents raised me to with proper respect for Jefferson Starship - this time with less chicken satay http://tinyurl.com/4yaov26 Jun. 8th.

I accidentally posted a link to a chicken satay recipe instead of my blog and had to correct it.  My blog is not a food blog, unless you count all the times I had a baking fail.

I just saw some one driving an emerald-green mini-cooper with the license plate "1IRISH". I can only assume it was a leprechaun. Jun. 7th. 

I have since found no pots of gold anywhere.  Greedy leprechauns.

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Thanks to Stasha and Bits of Bee for the fun writing prompt!