Step...step....step....It’s two in the morning, and I’m plodding the hall in a twilight state of mind. My youngest daughter lounges restless in my arms because, at two years old, she decided to stop sleeping through the night. She graces us with her presence at least two or three times a night, demanding a sippy-cup full of milk, or some significant cuddling before falling asleep again.
I’m not sure how many more sleepless nights and painful mornings I can take. It’s like having an infant, but an infant who heretofore had been sleeping through the night for quite a while, weighs twenty-five pounds, and says “NO!”
We are at a loss as to what to do. We are reluctant to have her cry-it-out, since she shares a room with her sister. We’ve contemplated having Preschooler sleep in a sleeping bag in our room, so she doesn’t wake up from the noise. But we’re afraid that she’ll start to prefer that arrangement, and then we’ll have another child refusing to sleep in her own bed at nighttime.
It is so frustrating. One painfully sleepy morning, we took her to the doctor, hoping she had an ear infection. At least if she had an ear infection, we’d know WHY she wasn’t sleeping at night. No such luck.
On a possibly related note, she has also decided to stop eating. Apparently she’s meeting her daily nutritional values by simply looking at her food. We wonder if maybe she’s getting her two-year molars, but it’s to hard to tell when she clamps her jaw shut every time we try to look. And her language skills aren’t good enough for her to simply tell us what’s wrong.
I know that as my kids get older, they’ll be able to better communicate their wants and needs. I know that all this is happening, because she’s, well, two. I know it’s a phase.
But it doesn’t always quiet the voice inside me that says, “Fix this.” And my failure to do so, while unwarranted, still makes me feel like I’m simply floundering in a sea of incompetency.
So, step-step-step, I’ll continue my midnight strolls.
Because I love her.
I’m not sure how many more sleepless nights and painful mornings I can take. It’s like having an infant, but an infant who heretofore had been sleeping through the night for quite a while, weighs twenty-five pounds, and says “NO!”
We are at a loss as to what to do. We are reluctant to have her cry-it-out, since she shares a room with her sister. We’ve contemplated having Preschooler sleep in a sleeping bag in our room, so she doesn’t wake up from the noise. But we’re afraid that she’ll start to prefer that arrangement, and then we’ll have another child refusing to sleep in her own bed at nighttime.
It is so frustrating. One painfully sleepy morning, we took her to the doctor, hoping she had an ear infection. At least if she had an ear infection, we’d know WHY she wasn’t sleeping at night. No such luck.
On a possibly related note, she has also decided to stop eating. Apparently she’s meeting her daily nutritional values by simply looking at her food. We wonder if maybe she’s getting her two-year molars, but it’s to hard to tell when she clamps her jaw shut every time we try to look. And her language skills aren’t good enough for her to simply tell us what’s wrong.
I know that as my kids get older, they’ll be able to better communicate their wants and needs. I know that all this is happening, because she’s, well, two. I know it’s a phase.
But it doesn’t always quiet the voice inside me that says, “Fix this.” And my failure to do so, while unwarranted, still makes me feel like I’m simply floundering in a sea of incompetency.
So, step-step-step, I’ll continue my midnight strolls.
Because I love her.
13 comments:
don't be too hard on yourself. you are right, it's a stage that all of us go through.
if you want my bright side thought that I used to have while i was in your same plight, it was this: my daughter loves me so much she just wants me to be near me now. it won't be like this forever, so i will enjoy it completely while it lasts.
motherhood is quite a journey.
wow... that sucks dude.. I can only imagine what you're going through.
*hugs*
I feel you. Both kids usually sleep just fine, but each one will pick a random night of the week to wake up in the middle of the night. At least with The Girl, she just comes in "scared" of something, and climbs in with us. Which is fine because it doesn't disrupt sleep. The Boy wants to cuddle, but screams bloody murder! I like when they choose the same night, just so we can get it over with in one shot.
Oh man, I so know your pain. My little guy will be two tomorrow and I can count the number of nights he has slept through on one hand . . . okay maybe two. The sleep deprivation sucks but, I like to think it is a sign of what great parents we are that our kidlets just want to be with us . . . no matter what time it is.
Jenn
I love your great ability to write and when you use large obscure words.
Happy Anniversary week. Love You!
p.s. my word verification is mything (weird)
"Because I love her" so simply put, it brought tears to my eyes. You are a good mom!
@Everyday Goddess - I like your bright side thought, and am keeping it with me now, always.
@Chemgirl - hugs to you too :)
@Joshua - who knew that one day we'd be saying things like we WANT our kids to be up at the same night!
@Fox in the City - Thanks. I love knowing that I'm not alone about this (and lots of things!!)
@Husband - thank you for all of your support. I love you too!
@Sassy Sister - I had a good roll-model :)
This is why I have puppies.
I'd like to say something wise like "This too shall pass", but I am afraid in your sleep deprived state you would cut me.
Sweet Babou and I have a little bed by our bed and co-sleep. It's an anthropologist thing. It means a hell of a lot more sleep, and lots of sex in the living room after the baby is asleep.
@Laura - No puppies for us until the kids are older. We're planning on using them as a bargaining chip. "So you want a puppy? Well you'll have to show us how responsible you are...." (even though we totally plan on getting a puppy some day anyways.)
@Bettyfokker - If it helps, I'm probably too tired to efficiently and effectively cut some one.
Oy! You have my sympathy. *cringes*
It must be hard having to worry about waking the preschooler, too.
You are a kind and loving momma and you will get through this phase.
I had a habit of crawling into Mom's bed for years when I was little. She finally let me throw a crazy temper tantrum when she put a lock on her door. But I never again tried to go into her room. I just went back to sleep. That's how I know it was just a habit.
@Marianna - we're so afraid this is becoming a habit with her. We (finally) took her back to the doctor and she does have an ear infection, so we'll see.
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