Preschooler was an early talker. I was so proud.
Now it has come to bite me in the ass. I feel like I've been sprung with a pop-quiz.
Question 1: You attempt to telepathically channel the Cheerful Fairy, and give Preschooler her bedtime snack.
You: Let’s go get your snack!
Preschooler: Ok,ok, I’m coming.
Preschooler stares at the snack cupboard for several minutes.
You: Ok, I’ll count down from 10, then choose your snack. 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1. Ok, what do you want for a snack?
Preschooler: Just a min-ute.
What do you do?
A) Tell the child, “Either choose now, or no snack.”
B) Choose the snack for the child.
C) Close the pantry door, explaining that the child had a chance for a snack, but didn’t choose, so she must not be hungry.
D) Nothing. Your head exploded due to the sheer force of unanticipated sass emanating from your once polite Preschooler’s mouth.
The answer is probably not D. Oops.
Question 2: Your Preschooler is honing her new role as a master tattle-tale. For example:
Preschooler: Mom! Toddler is touching that toy!
You: It’s ok hon, it’s HER toy.
Preschooler: But she’s touching it!
What do you do?
A) Explain, “It’s not nice to tattle.”
B) Remind, “We’re the boss of Toddler, not you.”
C) Blink several times. So what???!!?!
Uh-oh. I don’t think C is necessarily productive.
In my defense, I never gave Preschooler permission to learn how to sass. Fortunately, these scenarios will replay themselves approximately 64,453 more times. So I have plenty of opportunities for a re-do.
I'll study harder next time, I promise.
2 comments:
This is friggin' hilarious. Sorry, but it is. :)
1) Shut the cabinet because she (Alexis) is obviously not hungry. She will scream but then pick faster. Each time she "wastes my time" I keep closing the cabinet until she stops wasting my time. That is what I do at least. Now she does it less and less cause she knows her mama is a mean mama and won't play games :)
2) Tell her to quickly touch one of HER toys and then say, "Now you both are touching your own toys...you girls are AWESOME." I don't know what this solves other then Alexis then turns her tattling into "we are all playing together." I try to support group play with the two of them otherwise Alexis would be whining all the time. Right now Alexis works so hard to makes things "perfect" and of course Lukas wants to destroy everything. I have to make it fun somehow. I get more tattling on the dogs from Alexis now which is still annoying...LOL.
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