Me: No. BRILLIANT.
* * *
Me (trying to force a toothbrush in Toddler’s mouth): Toddler! Time to brush your teeth!
Toddler (mouth clamped shut): MMMMNNNNNMMMNNN!
Me (starting to panic): Please open up! We haven’t successfully brushed your teeth in days!!
Toddler: shakes head back and forth.
Me: manages to brush Toddler’s EYEBALL.
The optometrist will be so proud.
* * *
Me: I haven’t been to the dentist in five years.
My Brain: ?!?. Angela! You’re supposed to go every six months!
Me: What? I brush and floss.
My Brain: You’re going to spend another year NOT going to the dentist, aren’t you?
Me: Probably. I think I’ll wait until my teeth turn mutant, especially if other teeth start growing out of my regular teeth. It’ll be more interesting for every one involved. I don’t want to bore the dentist.
My Brain: SIGH.