Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Lazy Woman's Guide To Being Green, Where Being Green Actually Means Being More Of An Aquamarine Or Possibly Chartreuse Instead.

Yes, I know Earth Day was a couple of days ago, but that’s ok.  Because for me, being green is all about being LAZY.  For example:

We try to use rags for cleaning, and save the paper towels for true emergencies (i.e. puke and crap emergencies because I am NOT laundering half a dozen puke rags so help me God.) 

It all happened one day, when I noticed a previously unknown strain of penicillin growing in pile of dirty dishes in my kitchen sink.  I could’ve used this newfound discovery to cure ebola, but I wanted to eat some Cheerios.  Unfortunately, we were out of paper towels and every cup and bowl in our house was dirty. 

Not wanting to go to the store, I dug up a shop rag and used it to clean the kitchen instead of paper towels.  A week later, the kitchen was dirty again.  WHO KNEW?  The aforementioned rag was filthy, so I tossed it in the washing machine, and pulled out another shop rag.  Then I realized, “Hey! We have, like, 50 of these shop rags. I’LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE FOR PAPER TOWELS AGAIN!!!”

I heart you, shop rags.

You’re going to notice a pattern here.

I buy cleaning solution (eg: Mr. Clean) in bulk, and mix it with some water to refill the same spray bottle over and over.  Yes, I know vinegar would be even more Earth-friendly, but I just can’t get past the smell.  The point is, I never remember to buy task-specific cleaning solutions when I run out, but I always have Mr. Clean around, which can clean everything from my floors to my counters to my bathtub.  By using a little Mr. Clean and water to clean everything, I NEVER (ok, rarely) HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE FOR CLEANING SOLUTION AGAIN!!!!

I heart you, Mr. Clean

Moving on.

I don’t always shower every day.  The reason is two-fold.  First, I don’t think I’ve taken a shower alone since Preschooler started walking.  Now, if the choice is showering with two screaming children banging on the bathroom door, or showering with two happy children watching me while making slightly disconcerting comments like, “Mommy?  What is all that hair for?  Mommy? MOMMY?” well, I choose the latter. 

But that doesn’t mean I have to choose it every day. 

Plus, the fewer showers I take, the longer it takes for me to run out of soap and shampoo, and the FEWER TIMES I HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE TO BUY THESE THINGS!!!!!  Also, we use less water.  I guess.

Having admitted this, I now give every one permission 
to draw stink lines over all my photos.

So, there you go.  The lazy woman’s guide to barely saving the Earth.  You’re welcome.


Lindsay Schultz @sayschu said...

I just wanted to say I really like that picture. Even with stank lines you are perdy!

Handflapper said...

Thank you for providing me justification for my own less than regular hygiene routine. We're two stinky sisters saving the earth one showerless day at a time.

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Lindsay - Thank you! Taking my own picture was a horrible exercise in weirdness.

@Handflapper - You'd be surprised how many people, once I admit I don't shower daily, also admit that THEY don't shower daily. Mother Nature should be thanking us.

Laura said...

I do not have children, and never plan on having children so the only thing I will be leaving this world is a carbon footprint and I want a big one so I shower every day and use paper towels and plastic grocery bags.

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Laura - You are generous beyond measure! And honestly, I like plastic bags (even though we don't usually use them.) Their easier to carry upstairs than paper bags.

Mom said...

You can always blame your skin problems. You know showering every day is not good for sensitive and dry skin.

Love, Mom

Betty Fokker said...

Ack! My post was eaten! And it was truly the most awesome post, ever.

dbs said...

Once, years ago, I was having a shower and suddenly the curtain was flung open by my toddler son so he could drop a Tonka Toy bulldozer into the tub at my feet and then promptly leave. His message? I believe he was trying to say something like, "I am going to mess with you for the next 20 years." I still take short showers.

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Mom - thanks, Mom!

@Betty Fokker - sadness. I'm sorry your post was eaten. I'll ask the internet fairy to bring it back.

@dbs - Ha, ha, ha!!! My toddler likes to throw things in the tub while I shower. Glad to know I'm not alone!