Thursday, August 25, 2011

ALL HAIL THE PORTABLE DVD PLAYER!


Back in July, we went on vacation to the north-woods of Minnesota and Wisconsin. It was quite the road-trip, consisting of a total of 20 hours on the road. We stopped to let Preschooler go potty only 239 times.  I think she’s the only person who can truly appreciate, nay enjoy, a truck stop bathroom.  Even better, there were no real breakdowns thanks to these little gems:

I give up.

Yes, the portable DVD player saved our vacation, or at least allowed us to drive hours at a time in relative peace and quiet.  Well, maybe not quiet, but definitely peace.   I know, REALLY? A TV?   The words “spoiled,” “privileged,” and “lazy” come to mind.

Before Husband and I were parents, we used to vocalize loudly on what consisted of appropriate parenting.  We were parenting snobs; parenting armchair quarterbacks. But after our kids were born, our parenting standards shattered, one by one.


“We’ll NEVER use a portable DVD player in the car.  Our children will entertain themselves, just like we did as children.”

Ahem.  Actually these little beauties will allow you to keep your sanity in between diaper changes, potty stops, mealtimes, snack times, and nap times. When you’re driving for a whole day, your sanity takes precedent over anything else.

“McDonald’s will ONLY be a very special treat, save for the road-trips to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Our kids will NEVER eat processed food.  There’s nothing wrong with fruits and vegetables.  Also, we’ll make all our own baby-food.  And, we’ll never frequent restaurants with children’s menus.  The kids will eat whatever we eat with gusto.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You’re so cute.

You see, there will be times where even the notion of cooking is impossible.  You may be holding a screaming baby for 22 hours in one day.  You may have a Toddler clinging to your pants leg starting at 4:30 or so, and lasting for the next 3 hours.  You may be simply exhausted, having stayed up with an infant all night, or negotiating a peace treaty between your offspring all day. On these days, even if your fast-food suppers occur twice a week or more, they will be a blessing, a blessing from the Lord above. Amen.

“Our kids will only play with wooden toys.  Plastic, noisy toys are the work of Satan himself.”

Ok. Plastic toys ARE forged by the devil’s minions, but seeing as you already caved in with the DVD player and the junk food, you ought not worry about this.

In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

P.S.  Stay tuned for more vacation stories..... probably.

10 comments:

Lindsay Schultz @sayschu said...

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You’re so cute." Hilarious!

The only standard I've stuck to is not giving toddler french fries. Everything else is a go.

And that DVD player is going on my Christmas list.

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Lindsay - you will not regret the dvd player, I promise! The only thing we really lucked out on is cookies. We convinced Preschooler that cookies are round, and crackers are square. So by that logic whole-grain Ritz cracker = cookie. She hasn't caught on yet :)

Mom in law said...

You can bet we would have had two DVD players if they had been available for our many trips up and down the state. Your husband may think they entertained themselves on road trips. His parents have a different memory!

Janie Jones said...

OMG. Portable DVD players are the bomb! We don't have cable or satellite TV. But you can bet your Boppy we have a vast library of DVDs and make frequent use of them. I figure, it's still better than TV. You get to totally control what the kid sees, and -bonus- no commercials.

Betty Fokker said...

I knew, from the moment I saw the portable DVD player, that I would have one for my children even if I had to sell a kidney. I used to have to endure 12 hour car rides to get to grandma's as a kid and there is no way in hell I would do that to my children. That's like saying "no indoor plumbing for you, spoiled children; mommy pissed in a chamber pot and so can you!" Ha. It is to laugh.

FabFawk said...

Wish we had a TV with us when I was a kid. I feel sorry for my parents having to stick up with our loud noises.

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Mom in law - karma, huh?

@Janie - in a way I'm kind of jealous. We're all spoiled by cable in my house.

@Betty - "no indoor plumbing for you, spoiled children" - I LOVE it!!!

Fox in the City said...

We don't have a portable DVD player . . . yet! I totally plan on asking for one for Christmas after our 1st long family road trip that was not at bedtime took an additional 2 hours because of traffic. Bring on the shitty parenting! ;)
Jenn

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Fox in the City - What am I, the portable dvd player ambassador? Go! Go buy one!!

Video Camcorder Accessories said...

Portable DVD players are becoming increasingly popular particularly with people who spend a lot of time traveling. They are DVD players with built-in screens and are small enough to carry around with you and fit into your bag, suitcase or even onto the back of a car seat, allowing you to watch DVDs on the move. Thanks a lot.