Having majored in English, and being a self-proclaimed library addict, I’ve read many a tome in my day. So I’m about to go all Judgey McJudgerson, and regale you with a short list of books I absolutely hate.
Moby Dick. Oh how I loathe Moby Dick. I’ve been forced to read it cover-to-cover twice. One professor in particular, LOVED Moby Dick. He may or may not sleep with a copy of Moby Dick under his pillow. WHO KNOWS? Because despite all the symbolism and etymology, Herman Melville spends an exorbitant amount of time discussing whales and whaling in minute detail. Excruciatingly, painful, minute detail. Guess what? I don’t care about whaling! On the other hand, I also didn’t like Free Willy. I’m whale neutral.
Sweet Valley High. Anyone remember the Sweet Valley High series. Anyone? Beuller? Right. For those who were not pre-teens in the 80’s, here’s the scoop. There are two girls. They’re twins. And every book revolves around some sort of boyfriend drama. Or who’s on the cheerleading squad. Also, I think in one book they had some sort of switched-identity due to a coma, or something. I was 11, with no boobs. Boyfriend and cheerleading conflicts were not relevant to my life. I did, however, have a brief and passionate love affair with the Babysitter’s Club books, despite the fact that I rarely babysat. Apparently the life of a pre-teen is tumultuous and inconsistent. Also, no one used the word “tween” when I was young, and I refuse to use it now.
Uuuummm....hmmmmmm. I guess that’s it. Apparently I’ve enjoyed, or at least tolerated, every other book I've ever read. Ever.
Wait a minute, this can’t be right. Any one out there care to shore up this pathetic list?