Saturday, August 13, 2011

I'm Whale Neutral. Don't Tell PETA.

Having majored in English, and being a self-proclaimed library addict, I’ve read many a tome in my day.  So I’m about to go all Judgey McJudgerson, and regale you with a short list of books I absolutely hate. 

Moby Dick.  Oh how I loathe Moby Dick.  I’ve been forced to read it cover-to-cover twice.  One professor in particular, LOVED Moby Dick.  He may or may not sleep with a copy of Moby Dick under his pillow.  WHO KNOWS?  Because despite all the symbolism and etymology, Herman Melville spends an exorbitant amount of time discussing whales and whaling in minute detail.  Excruciatingly, painful, minute detail.  Guess what?  I don’t care about whaling!  On the other hand, I also didn’t like Free Willy.  I’m whale neutral.

Sweet Valley High.  Anyone remember the Sweet Valley High series.  Anyone?  Beuller?  Right.  For those who were not pre-teens in the 80’s, here’s the scoop.  There are two girls.  They’re twins.  And every book revolves around some sort of boyfriend drama.  Or who’s on the cheerleading squad.  Also, I think in one book they had some sort of switched-identity due to a coma, or something.  I was 11, with no boobs.  Boyfriend and cheerleading conflicts were not relevant to my life.  I did, however, have a brief and passionate love affair with the Babysitter’s Club books, despite the fact that I rarely babysat.  Apparently the life of a pre-teen is tumultuous and inconsistent.  Also, no one used the word “tween” when I was young, and I refuse to use it now.

Uuuummm....hmmmmmm.  I guess that’s it.  Apparently I’ve enjoyed, or at least tolerated, every other book I've ever read.  Ever. 

Wait a minute, this can’t be right. Any one out there care to shore up this pathetic list? 

11 comments:

Janie Jones said...

I didn't read the Babysitters Club, or Sweet Valley High, but I did read Nancy Drew and The Girls of Canby Hall.

I lucked out an never had to read Moby Dick, but I did have to read Wuthering Heights, and I hate that book with a white hot passion. Lame, lame, lame, someday all will realize Catherine's lame. Dumb, dumb, dumb, Heathcliff is really dumb.

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Janie Jone - While I don't hate it, I only read Wuthering Heights once, and once was enough.

Betty Fokker said...

The Scarlet Letter, in my opinion, blew goats.

Lindsay Schultz @sayschu said...

I was the only one who thought the writing in The Great Gatsby was atrocious. And I think I had to read it about 65 times.

In trying to think of other books you may have taken issue with, I'm only coming up with the erotic sequel to Clan of the Cave Bear. :)

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@Betty - I remember feeling neither underwhelmed, nor overwhelmed, when reading the Scarlet Letter. I guess I was just whelmed.

@Lindsay - I also had to read the Great Gatsby about one million times, but it had the opposite effect on me. I think it brainwashed me into liking it :) Also, I read each and every sequel to the Clan of the Cave Bear, and despite the somewhat ridiculous eroticism, they range from "this is, ok!" to "meh."

chemgirl said...

I actually really enjoyed Sweet Valley High.. I may or may not have tried to convince my parents that I was a twin at one point.

Deeper by Jeff Long was a sequel to a book The Descent that I absoluately LOVED... I figured the sequel would be just as amazeballs... I was wrong... it wasn't terrible.. but it wasn't anything special either.


I'm mostly like you though.. I just devour books and nine times out of 10 enjoy every one I read... especially as most of the books I read are for pleasure and not for school so it's easier to get enjoyment out of them when you don't have to write about them.
Then again.. I'm not an English major... I'm all science.

Carmen said...

I read every Sweet Valley High book ever written. In fact, there was a short-lived TV series I also watched. I am also shamelessly looking forward to buying the new one. Yes, Francine Pascal has recently written another one. **sigh** Even I know this is lame.

Angela@BeggingTheAnswer said...

@chemgirl - fear not, my husband is also a scientist. Organic Chemistry. I KNOW.

@Carmen - there was a tv series?! Also, you're not lame. I didn't even know they were still being written!

Husband said...

@chemgirl

If you want a good science book to read try The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean. It is all about the elements (good for a science nerd).

Laura said...

I loathe almost all romance novels. Unless there's vampires or space aliens in them. Or space alien vampires in them.

Marianna Annadanna said...

I've heard that about Moby Dick, which is why I've never read it. I used to watch the Sweet Valley high tv show though...

I HATE Madamme Bovary. Worst. Book. Ever. I ever blogged abotu it last year.