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Originally posted August 4th, 2010
I suppose this is a question that should have been resolved before I began blogging. But, as you will eventually realize, I tend to over-think things. Usually I over-think so much that it prevents me from any action whatsoever. And I didn’t want this to be one of those situations where I thought so much about the consequences of doing something that I end up missing out on the experience and never doing it at all.
For example, I really wanted to study abroad while in college. I was an English major, so the United Kingdom seemed to be a perfectly crommulent place to study, and that was my dream. I thought it would make me seem all intellectual and worldly and stuff. Or at least I’d get to hang out with people who had interesting accents, and maybe I could pick up an interesting accent myself. Having grown up in Wisconsin my current accent is a mix between Minnesotan, Chicago, and Yooper. It is not so interesting as it is comical.
Anyhow, I was all set to undertake this adventure when I began thinking. What if the classes were too difficult and I failed all of them? What if I got sick? How would I find a place to live? And food? How would I pay for it? Never mind that thousands of students study abroad in countries all over the world every year, even countries more exotic and primitive than England, and most if not all of the programs are designed to make things as easy for an ignorant American student as possible.
I expressed my worries to my equally-neurotic mother, who was less than thrilled at the prospect of her youngest child leaving the country for a whole year and she heartily agreed that I should not study abroad. Thus, I kept my feet firmly planted on American soil.
I’ve regretted that decision ever since.
I had similar concerns about blogging. What if someone reads it and thinks it’s dumb? What if no one reads it, because it’s dumb? Do I really want to expose my innermost thoughts on the internet where they will last for eternity? After all, if I had done so when I was, say, thirteen, all the world would’ve known that OMG I LOVE TODD SO MUCH HE IS SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!EXCLAMATION POINT TO INFINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t want this to be an experience I missed out on. I’ve always loved writing, and I’ve always been too afraid to let anyone read my writing. My writing has always been fairly translucent and to have someone else know EXACTLY what I think left me feeling naked and exposed.
After many years of therapy, I’ve decided to take some more risks in life. This blog is one of those risks.