The Reading Rainbow Isn’t All Sunshine And Roses.

I read. A lot. Two days worth of my Christmas break were devoted to plowing through The House Of Mirth, by Edith Wharton. This book was written back in the day when a strip tease involved lifting a skirt to reveal an ankle. I cried at the end, but only because I'm kind of lame.

We are not amused

I worshiped libraries since I was a kid. This was back when card catalogues still roamed the earth. I saw some of these relics lately, being recycled as scratch-paper.

The original search engine.

But my new library and I got off to a rocky start.

The library is beautiful, and located right in downtown. Sure, the entrance ramp is about 3298 miles from the actual door, but I was willing to forgive this snub towards the disabled, elderly, and my GIGANTIC STROLLER.

It doesn’t get good gas mileage either...

Of course, I want my kids to develop a love of reading. Since Reading Rainbow no longer airs, I took them to the library. This was a mistake.

Preschooler cried during the well-structured story time. Sure, it made sense that one time when the story was The Shining. But it was unacceptable when the story of the day was Peter Rabbit.

Peter Rabbit is not the same as the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

Baby's alias is Destructo. When we roam the aisles in our GIGANTIC STROLLER, she chucks every book in her reach to the ground, while laughing.

Then there was the incident with the Cailou DVD. I checked out the DVD for one week, and then promptly placed it somewhere in the universe. Or my living room. Whatever.

Two weeks later, I couldn’t find the DVD. To my credit, I knew I placed it somewhere in the universe, and the universe is a REALLY BIG PLACE.

Now where’s that book...

Another two weeks went by and I still couldn’t find the DVD. When I finally found the DVD, I shoved it in its case, and proudly walked through the library doors, only to be told...

It wasn’t their Cailou DVD. It was one of my own.

Sigh. It's not like the kids can tell the difference between one episode of Cailou and another, right?

Cailou discovers something new. Cailou cries.
Cailou's parents comfort him in their bizzaro primary-colored house.
The end.