A Tale of Two Princesses. Actually, There's Just One Princess. And Her Cynical Mom.

All princesses have their 15-minutes of fame in Preschooler's life. Currently, it's Sleeping Beauty. There was a 2:15 viewing in our living room today. I'm not sure I like where this is going.

First, the three fairies enter the birthday celebration...

Preschooler: Look! They're wearing shoes!

That's my girl.

Next, Fairy Merriweather bestows her gift upon the princess...

Preschooler: What's happening?

Me: The blue fairy is giving Sleeping Beauty a gift.

Preschooler: What is it?

Me: The power to sleep....forever.

Preschooler: Oh!

This seems promising!

Next, Prince Philip meets Sleeping Beauty

Preschooler: Look! It's the prince!

I don't know, it looks like he might drug her.

After that, Prince Philip and Sleeping Beauty snuggle.

Preschooler: Look! He loves her!

No hon, he just slipped her the roofies...

After that, the kings toast to the impending wedding by getting smashed...

Preschooler ignores the entire part. SEE? I'm a great parent!

Now Preschooler is galloping around the room, pretending to be Prince Philip because, "He gets to ride a fast horse!" Gender identity issues aside, I can relate. I like horses too.

Next, Sleeping Beauty blindly follows a ball of bizarre ball of green light to the fabled spinning wheel.

See? She's on drugs..

Finally, Sleeping Beauty lives up to her namesake.

Preschooler decides she wants to be Sleeping Beauty again, because she gets to sleep forever.

If only....

Then, Prince Philip falls down fighting the dragon, Malificent.

Preschooler (slightly alarmed): What's happening?

Me: It's OK! The prince is fighting the dragon.

Preschooler: Oh. He lost.

Eventually the movie ends (on a high note I might add). Preschooler is thrilled. She wants to watch it again. And again. And again and again and again and again and again. She has been dressing up as Sleeping Beauty all day, and even wore the dress-up clothes to bed one night.

I'll let her go on with this. It's fun!

As long as she makes sure to always keep an eye on her drink at parties, discards any drink she's lost track of, and takes a cab ride home at the end of the night.