First it was Dove Promises sending out inspirational messages. I understand that. I’m often inspired by chocolate. Inspired to eat more chocolate.
Surround myself with loved ones? You mean more chocolate?
But today I opened a new carton of sour cream, and the foil seal was inscribed with the message, “The most precious thing one can make is a friend.”
Can I be your friend?
How does my sour cream know I need more friends? Is it that obvious?
Maybe my food doesn’t want me to be depressed. But that doesn’t make sense; when I’m depressed, I eat more. You’d think this would be a good thing for the food (unless maybe it’s displaying an act of self-preservation.)
So, since I always want to be on the cutting edge, I came up with my OWN inspirational messages to common foods*:
Be happy. No exceptions. Ever.
Infiltrating yourself into every aspect society of NOT make you a whore.
See? Advertising is easy.** Someone should pay me for this.
But then again, I think someone should pay me for everything I do.
*My jokes are lame. I won't be offended if you don't get the joke. Because it's lame.
**Note: I actually think REAL Advertising is probably damn difficult. Otherwise, why would they hire some of my smarty-pants friends to work for them?